Thoughts from an "Anonymous " Member 
on Mental Health, Medication and 12 step programs

The lie of thou shalt not ANYTHING

Rather than re-inventing the wheel I'm copying and pasting a reply to a post on another part of the Internet. The author is now working as a professional in the field of co-occurring disorders helping people learn to recover from their addiction as well as psychological issues. The piece was posted in response to a comment about court ordered treatment for drug possession.

Forced treatment has it's faults, especially amongst the mentally ill population. Generally speaking the current model for addiction treatment is based on 12 step groups such as AA and NA. It is believed to be the best place for people to go to continue their recovery journey after leaving treatment.

When I was first diagnosed as having a mental illness along with addiction in 1994 there where clear cut mixed messages being sent to me. Mental health treatment specialists where telling me "Take this drug, it'll change your mood and you'll feel better. Go to NA meetings to address your addiction issues"

So you go into an NA meeting and you are bombarded by messages from many people telling you that "Any mind or mood altering drug is bad and you are not "clean" if you use them" The 12 step model dictates that you find a higher power of your understanding and pray til your addiction is arrested. It is enforced upon you that prayer will cure anything that troubles you. Anyone who reads my posts knows that I don't do the God thing very well. This is not to say I didn't learn to apply spiritual principals to my life. I'm DAMN glad to have learned this! The spiritual principals of the 12 step model had shaped my world view for the better. Had resigned my will and my life to the power of God as I understood God at that point and didn't use the psych meds.

After battling back and forth on the issue, I finally decided to say "screw these 12 step jerks, I'm going to take my meds despite what they want me to believe" After being guilt tripped by some I quit going to NA, got disillusioned by the ENTIRE process and quit taking psych meds as well. This made things as bad or worse than they where before I was first diagnosed. Ended up on the meds again and saying "screw this, I'm going to meetings and taking meds, if they don't like that, tough shit!" Had to live with some internal guilt but the steps where making that easier.

But what of those of us that do not have the confidence or mental capability of making this decision for ourselves? One of the people I met at my very first NA meeting is now a client I work with. He was recently released from a two year stay at a state psychiatric forensics center after pleading not guilty by reason of insanity on a minor, yet not first brush with the law. Seeing his name pop up on the roster I picked him up for his first public outing. We talked about what happened and how he got into trouble. He'd always been a stand up guy if not a bit quirky from living with schizophrenia.

 "I got a new sponsor at NA and he told me if I prayed hard enough, I wouldn't need meds anymore" He also told me "Quit swallowing those pills, you don't need them" I knew this advice was wrong so I started to chew my meds instead. Ended up getting really sick from it and stopped taking them altogether.

Putting people with mental disorders into a 12 step treatment program is risky. The fact that the people I work with are encouraged to go to meetings and continue their drug regimen helps them to stay focused and stable. It's a tough call to help them make since they will continue to receive mixed messages from some or in other cases many. Learning to cope with this is difficult. All I can do is tell my story and let THEM decide what is best for them just as the better 12 step sponsors do.

Thou shalt not ANYTHING is a lie. Some may sacrifice a bit of comfort by not medically treating a condition if the treatment options are potentially hazardous. If a person has a disease and it gets to the point where it affects their daily living, they need to treat it. Many psychological disorders are categorized as diseases the same as addiction is. Please consider your own beliefs before making judgment calls on those of us who take psych meds. It is far more important for me to be employable and a solid parent than to work the "Perfect" program.